Scotties and more Scotties

Last week was catching up with all kinds of things after the past two months of Chris' illness & hospitalization. One of the things I hadn't done while he was sick was to groom all three Scotties. I looked at them and realized that I just didn't have the time or the energy to bath and groom all three extremely fuzzy dogs. SO....I called my Vet and made arrangements to have all three cleaned up. Fiona hadn't been professional groomed since she was 18 months old and we were trying to decided if she could possibly be a show dog. She loved when Kim Lindsey stripped her making her red coat just blaze, but unfortunately Fi also didn't like being the center of attention at dog shows tucking her tail between her legs and ears flat to her head, so she wasn't made to do that. Arwen and Frodo have only been groomed by me, so it was a big old surprise for them to have someone else do it. I used the groomer at my vet, Worthingon Woods Animal Hospital. They all look great!




Arwen & Frodo were done Monday. Frodo had to have an aspirate of a growth on his shoulder (benign...benign...benign!). Oh, Fiona enjoyed the day without Ar & Fro. She was in doggie spa sleeping in the middle of the room, roaming around without anyone growling at her. She was in heaven. Then Tuesday Fiona had to have all her vaccines as my Vet put them on hold until her Diabetes was a little more control. Then Fiona got groomed on Wednesday. Wow...three cleaned groomed Scotties in three days! A record.


So now to get my new garage door opener installed today. Yeah! Seems that everything want to break all at once. I also know Chris is feeling better after his ordeal. He wanted to go to the Sony Style store over at Easton to look at new televisions!

Finally good news!

Three wonderful things happened today which after these past two months have made me see that things have turned for Chris & I. First off, Chris signed himself out of Select Specialty hospital because he felt he'd had enough with some of the nursing care being not up to pare. He said some of the nurses & staff were helpful, but all in all it was like being in one of those nightmare hospital you see in the Stephen King movies. Today started with the Doctor telling him the insurance wouldn't pay for treatment after Friday. Chris started to think and realized he couldn't stay there that long with this one nurse treating him so badly. So he called me & I went to get him. The Doctor then came in trying to talk him into staying until Friday & he was determined to go home. The she pulled one sly little ploy saying well the insurance probably wouldn't pay for any of this stay if he left against medical advice. I was sitting there listening to this, so I immediately got on the phone & guess what...not true! I believe they were trying to bully him into staying for the extra two days of billing that the insurance initially authorized. Then they said they couldn't remove the NG tube...okay, I told them I'd take him to ER or pull the thing out myself. Finally, finally he signed papers, listen to their spill about leaving against their advice & he was FREE! He said it was the best feeling in the world. He came home & had to sit on the floor right as we walked in the door to get some very intense canine "nursing".

There was a package at the door when we came it. It was a gift basket from a dear Scottie friend who I met many many years ago on the internet back when we owned Scottie Obsession. I was just a puddle of jelly thinking of how kind she & her Mother were to send me this.

Then there was a call from Bead & Button telling me I won on of the lottery seats for the Master's Class with Carol Wilcox Wells in June! I even got to sign up for a class with Marcia DeCoster and a metalworking class with Richard Salley.

Today is the beginning of the turning point. I made an appointment with our primary care physician Joseph Carduci so that Chris can get some kind caring medical help. We've been going to Dr. Carduci for over 25 years & he is more like a friend than our physician. I know Dr. C will help Chris get back to normal and get his life back.

I've got to go to work tonight, but this is the first time since November 2nd that I actually feel my heart lifted. My friends in Scottie, beading and doll making world have all rallied with me these past two long months keeping my spirits high and giving me hope.

Today truly is the First of the year for me & Chris Thank you all.

An New Year

Wow, I can't believe another year has come & gone. I would say good riddance to 2010, but there were some good things that happened last year. I think Chris' being so ill after his surgery has made me forget that I actually did some great things in 2010 and met wonderful people. But there were losses in 2010 too. My favorite bead store closed down, Fiona's son Forrest died, and my friend Pam's Barney died too. I almost lost Fiona this Summer due to diabetes complications, but my Vet & his staff pulled her through that. She's gained most of her weight back and is just as sassy as ever. I'm even thinking of checking out having one of her cataracts removed over at MedVet later when Chris gets home so that Fiona can have a better quality of life by seeing out of at least one eye. Speaking of Chris, he was discharged from St. Ann's Hospital and put into Select Specialty Hospital on the 1st. Select is a rehab hospital here in town. It is what use to be the old Doctor's North on Dennison Ave in Victorian Village. It is strange to go over there to visit Chris as it was 28 years ago that I did my Med Tech training at that hospital. I can't believe it has been that long. The staff & doctors at Select want to slowly get Chris built back up so he can eat & gain his strength back. I'm guessing he'll be there at least one to two weeks. All four of us here miss him so much.

I did a little deconstruction on New Year's Day. Remember my piece Napali Mist that I did for Artbeads competition a couple months ago? Well, after I finished it, I put it on, took a look at it in the mirror, and decided I did not like it at all. So I spent the whole day tearing it apart. I'm not crazy! I know I spent weeks working on it, but hey! if I'm not happy with it & won't wear it, then why keep it intact. I was successful is tearing it apart in pieces so I can reconstruction it in a more modular way. I didn't like the feel of that big breast plate just sitting there with that flimsy chain, but I like the components. So, I've been playing around fitting them together trying to find some combination that I like before I start to weave it all back together. I think there might even be two necklaces that might come out of this piece.



I got some piece back home finally. Back in October 2009, I sent two pieces that Chris & I have been working on for Art Doll Quarterly's challenge...they finally got back home on the 30th. I don't even think the magazine people unwrapped them at all as it all looked exactly like how I packaged them all up. I am disappointed as I thought they fit in well with the steampunk theme, but I guess our names aren't that out there to be published. Sometimes I feel that ADQ publishes the same people over & over again not giving new artist a chance. Just my personal opinion. Maybe some of my feelings about ADQ is because I'm changing my focus this coming year. I want to get back into my beading and jewelry making. I feel that I have so much more to explore in that arena still. Oh, I won't stop making dolls, but I feel that they are going to be taking a back seat this year as I experiment with more medias in jewelry making, take more classes in beading and metal working and finally...finally going to the big Bead and Button show in June. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I get into the Master's class.

Rachel's Dream is also going to be making it home this week. I heard from Ohio Craft Museum that the pieces for the 2010 Best of Show are back in town. I want to pick them up my next day off & take Mr. Transistor over to Chris so he'll have one of his art pieces in his room to cheer him up.



Well, off to play with my poor lonely Scotties. They miss their "Dad" so bad. Oh I miss him too! BAD! This is Frodo and Arwen wondering where all that snow went! That only means to me that it is time to clean the yard!

Belated wishes

A very belated Christmas wish to all. I think all this stress from Chris being hospitalized again really ran me down, or I sat next to someone infectious that last time we were in the waiting room as Christmas Eve, I came down with Influenza A which lead to an Acute case of Bronchitis. I haven't been this sick in YEARS! I don't even remember driving home from the family Christmas party on Christmas Eve. I kinda remember getting up a couple of times on the 25th & 26th to let the dogs out and to feed them, but it all just blends into one feverish dream. I called Chris a couple of times to tell him I was too ill to come in to see him. I so wanted to spend Christmas with him, but I haven't been able to go to the hospital because I'm so afraid to give him a case of the flu on top of everything else he has going wrong. Finally on the 27th, I was able to get to the Urgent Care to get some medication (thank you the wonder of Pharmaceuticals) and a nebulizer. I actually feel almost normal and am looking forward to getting out of this house later this afternoon to see Chris. I'm also looking forward to going back to work tonight...really! I am.

Still unknown why Chris is so ill. He's on IV feeding, but he can't come home like that so they are going to try to do tube feeding so he can come home soon. It has been almost two months since his surgery, and I think he's probably only been home 14 days. This time, he's been in the hospital for 10 days. I called to him last night & he's so desperate for this to be over & to come home to me & the pupcakes. I think he also misses his big comfy chair & television too, but he won't admit that. I don't care...I just want him home and for our lives to go back to being somewhat normal again. I miss him so much! It isn't fun to watch corny television shows without someone to understand my snarky remarks. The dogs just look up at me thinking I'm going to give them some of my popcorn...not on your life...then go back to sleep.

I've had many wonderful people send me good thoughts, call me, send me cards, gifts and food. I want to thank them all. Without them and my family, I would have been lost. My sister Cheryl has been the rock for me because she listens to my whining and crying day after day.

Couple of beading things to share. I did get my letter from Bead & Button letting me know that I'll be informed if I got into the Carol's Master class on January 5th. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I do because I think I'm ready for the next level of beading. I want to learn to develop my own patterns and learn about arrangement and pleasing designs. Plus, I've never been to Bead & Button before & am looking forward to that. I also decided to spend 2011 focusing more on my beading skills. I'm still going to Artistic Figures in Cloth and will make a few dolls, but I want to get more into beading learning new techniques and networking among the bead world. I am sending in my application for the Great Lakes Beadworkers Guild today too hoping to get to met other fantastic beaders in my area. I don't know if I can make it up to Michigan too many times for meetings & am going to have to miss the winter classes with Marcia DeCoster in February, but hopefully as my life gets less complicated I can make it up to the Detroit area at least once this coming year.



And I want to share with you this necklace that I finished from one of Beki Haley's kits that I bought two years ago when at Lake Tahoe. It is so sparkly! I've worn it a couple times & it gets comments all the time. I have other things finished too, but have to wait for my photographer to get well & back home.

Happy new year to all

Very low

I'm writing this now feeling extremely low in spirits. If you don't follow me on Facebook, then you aren't aware of the past two months of misery my husband & I have been going through because of a surgery he had back on November 2nd. He's been in and out of the hospital for nausea I believed caused from the surgery, but the surgeon keeps saying it is not. The last two times, I've refused to take him back to the hospital where the surgeon has privileges because he keeps saying nothing from the surgery causes this debilitating nausea or extreme weight loss. So he's at the hospital I work at with internal medicine Doctors who are actually taking him serious and trying so hard to help him. He got out of the hospital for the 5th time 10 days ago, but this past Saturday he started to have nausea/vomiting again & Monday I had him readmitted to the hospital. His Internal Medicine Doctor is very worried and has now decided to start him on TPN which is IV nutritional feeding through a surgical placed port. He was fine yesterday in the hospital, but now the nausea has returned. I'm beside myself with worry. And on top of it, here it is days until Christmas. Just now I realized he will not be home with me and won't be able to go to our family's Christmas party Christmas Eve. He'll be in the hospital hooked up to tubes, monitors and IVs. It hit me hard like a brick just now, and I'm so very low in spirits that I just want to cry.

I don't think I've been this low since the Christmas right after my Father died. I'm powerless as I have to work but at least he's there in the same hospital complex so I can just dash over if something happens. Meanwhile, I'm dealing with depressed dogs. They are so upset that he is gone again. Frodo is the worse. Last night, I heard Frodo upstairs so I sneaked up and found him rolling around on Chris' bed trying to get under the covers. He looked up, saw me, and started to whine. I had to hold that little dog's body to comfort him or was he comfort me. I haven't put up any decorations this year, I haven't baked, I haven't sent out Christmas cards, and I've barely shopped. I don't think I've ever had such a lonely time ever. My Mother tries to encourage me, and some of my coworkers seem to care about me. My sister is wonderful and my two brothers are as always my foundation. Yet, when I'm here in this house all alone with my three Scotties, I feel as if I'm the only one in the world. I realized from all of this experience that I truly do not like being alone. I know I have my dogs, but it isn't the same as being able to look across the room & make some nonsense comment about anything to Chris. This afternoon, I started to talk out loud and Fiona was so freaked out she had a little pee accident. Oops, next time I'll have to give her fair warning.

I do have Christmas Eve this year from the hospital. I plan on going to my brother's house for a little to spend time with my family and to find cheer. But then, I'll be spending some time at the hospital with my husband so I don't have to be in this house alone without him. I've learned that things don't mean a thing when you are alone. I can surround myself with all kinds of material objects, but the only thing that is important is the one I love.

My best friend told me that at Winter Solstice she went to a pagan ceremony where you sent three wishes for others to the endless night. She told me she sent a prayer/wish that Chris gets better. I hope it works. I truly hope for a Christmas miracle. I have seen then come true, believe me. If you will endulge me for a few seconds longer I want to tell you about such a miracle. Chris' Mom from a mishap with surgery was in a coma for three months. Doctors told us all that even if she ever regained conscious she would never have mental clarity ever. He practically told us she would be in a vegetative state. One Christmas while she was in an nursing facility, both of us & Chris' brother went to visit her. We brought her a stuffed horse that neighed when you shook it up only because she loved little stuffed toys. Chris unwrapped it for her and put it under her arm. Then he & his brother sat next to her. Miraculously, she opened her eyes looked at both of them and said "my boys are home again". We were all shocked as she kept talking and wanted to get up to make them something to eat. I ran down to the nursing station and was met with disbelief. The nurse came down heard Chris' Mom talking and stood there with mouth open. She rushed down to call the Doctor who did the same. His Mom was her own self and lived another year. So you see, Christmas miracles do indeed come true. I just hope that I'm blessed enough to be witness to another one.

Well, enough of my long long winding tale. I now need to get myself together and head over to the hospital just to touch his cheek, hold his hand, and tell him how much I love him and need him. I'm praying for a miracle.

Acts of Kindess

Today I feel a little better. I've had some kind of Vertigo sneaking back into my life these past couple weeks on top of ever other stressful thing which I don't need at all. I actually didn't feel dizzy this afternoon when I woke up, and the Sun was shining. On top of it, there were two acts of kindness to me that really made me stop and realize there are wonderful people out there. First was my neighbor, Rod, who knowing Chris has been in & out of the hospital for the last 5 weeks shoveled the snow off all my sidewalks AND the driveway! Chris usually gets the snow blower out & does all the neighbors around us, but he hasn't had the energy to go out to the mailbox. Me, I wasn't looking forward to getting the shovel out as I don't do big boy power tools. It is enough to shovel pathways for the dogs. So it really made me extremely happy that Rod did all this work for us without our asking at all.

Then our sump pump has been on the fritz for over a week semi flooding our basement. Luckily the boxes that got wet just held radio tubes & metal components. The only thing ruin was the rug, but that is easy to replace. My brother who is a very busy man with a family of four and a very busy work schedule came over this afternoon & replaced the sump pump. He & I got to talk, drink some coffee & he finally picked up the present I got for him on our Kauai trip (we just never have the same work schedule). So now, I don't have to shovel snow or worry about more things in the basement getting wet. How lucky am I?

Then I got to thinking about how truly lucky I am even though I don't think so at times. I have a warm place to call my own. I have a car that gets me around comfortably. I have a job that isn't too physically stressful (just emotionally), I have family who are always there at a phone call, I have friends who call me (Pam & Cyn you know this is you) worrying about how I'm handling things, I have my dogs to give me love (and lots of wet kisses), I live in an area with little crime so I need not worry about violence again me or mine, I have access to the Internet where I can communicate with all the hundreds of people I've met through my +20 years online, and I have my health. I have to stop at times & just consider yes indeed, I am a pretty lucky girl.

blue

Just been blue around here lately. Chris has been in & out of the hospital now for going on 6 weeks. I think he's physically only been in the house maybe 8 days. This has made me realize that I really do not like being alone. I'm not truly alone as I have my three Scotties with me, but they are lonely too as I'm either at the hospital visiting Chris or working. I don't have enough vacation time to take off more. I'm tired all the time, because I'm not sleeping well. I forget to eat & am so tired of fast food & hospital cafeteria food. I actually had to start cleaning the house. I had no idea where the mop was & had to call Chris to ask him where that & the Pledge was so I could dust a little. The dogs are so upset that Frodo is marking the house, Fiona whines much of the day & Arwen wanders around going from room to room. I just wish he'd come home soon. I have gotten many wonder messages on FaceBook from friends wishing me the best. Dale sent me a surprise gift that made my day yesterday when I was feeling especially down. Pam sent Chris a card. I've got phone calls to cheer me up. But I'm still so blue.

I find it so hard to create when your life is in a turmoil. Especially hard as my studio is in the basement of the house & the dogs are all so needy & don't want me down there at all. I try to do something & all three are sitting on top of the stairs whining for me to come up. I actually got one of my old trays our & took some beading upstairs so I can physically be with them.

Some things I've decided to not do. The hardest thing was not to participate in the 2011 Bead Journal Project. With all the illness this year first with Frodo's oral surgery, Fiona's near death & Chris' illness, surgery and now extended hospital stay, I have not had the preserverence to even finish 2010. I only got to August & lost my Muse for this project. I haven't read the blogs to see what others are doing & have seemed to lost interest in this project all together. I'll miss it as I have met some nice women from that group. I've also decided to not decorate the house at all for Christmas. I'm too exhausted to go down to the basement, drag up all that stuff & decorate the house. I'm not even buying presents or sending cards this year as it is all too exhausting to even think about it. I have a few things for special folks like my Mom, Grandma & a couple close friends. Chris will get a few things too that I bought months before. Nothing is even triggering the holiday spirit in me. I remember walking though the halls of the hospital & it would be decorated for Christmas. We aren't even allowed to call it Christmas anymore...has to be Winter Holiday...oh how fun, right? We haven't gotten a Christmas bonus in over two years. I remember way back when the economy was really tough in the 80s at least the nuns would give us all a turkey for our Christmas meal & we could all say Merry Christmas! Oh we did have a holiday party at work with cold appetizers, and stale cookies. I did get to shake someone's hand who I have no idea who they are wishing me Happy Holidays. Sure...I'll do that. Our department party is once again a pot luck (oh how I remember the lavish Christmas feast and parties) with a cheap sandwich tray from Giant Eagle which by the time we come in at 10pm is stale & tasteless. Doesn't this all sound so joyful?

The only good thing is that my youngest brother is going to have a get together Christmas Eve. I haven't seen some of my siblings for so long and am looking forward to being with them, my Mother & my 96 year old Grandma. I'm sure there will lots of delicious foods there & much laughing which I need right now.

Well, what to you know...something good has just happened. Chris just called & said the Doctors gave him a clean bill of health & he is coming home. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he won't have to go back into the hospital. I'm so tired.

thanks all for listening to my personal rant. I so wish 2011 is a better year for me & my family.